Raven's Brain v1.0: Project Management Humor

Project Management Humor: PM Cartoon "Project: Humor - Time"

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:19:42 GMT

The next project management cartoon in the "Project: Humor" series is below:

Project: Humor - Time

Click for larger image

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Previous cartoons in the series:

As always, your feedback is welcome! Email me: raven_young AT aol DOT com

Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management Comic, PM Humor, Project Management Cartoon, Project Management, Project: Humor

Project Management Humor: PM Cartoon "Project: Humor - Credit"

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 03:03:45 GMT

My new project management cartoon series called "Project: Humor" is still getting a great response. It seems a lot of PMs are looking for some levity because the number of queries for PM cartoons and/or humor are growing each day. The next cartoon in the series is below:

Project: Humor - Credit

Click for larger image

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Well, one flicker on the bright side, at least the manager is being honest about this often deflating behavior from bad managers, instead of stealing credit on the sly..

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Previous cartoons in the series:

Enjoy!

Project Management Humor: Do As I Say Leadership

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:16:22 GMT

I've written about my love of Dan Savage's Savage Chickens before. Once again I share a great cartoon applicable to the PM world, and business in general

Leadership

Click image for original

Do you know any project leaders using the "do as I say, not as I do" method? Poor little chickens - run!

Worse - are you an offending project manager, executive, upper manager, etc.? Put that stick w/rusty nail down and go get your DOing on!

More from Savage Chickens here: http://www.savagechickens.com/

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Business Humor, Business Cartoons

Project Management Humor: PM Cartoon "Project: Humor - Respect"

Sun, 25 May 2008 17:49:07 GMT

I recently created a project management cartoon series called "Project: Humor". The last one on Priorities received a great response. I've heard from several folks that are now using "I see dead priorities" in meetings - very cool! The next cartoon in the series is below:

Project: Humor - Respect

Click for larger image

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Ahhh.. You gotta love managers that believe in the "Delegation via whim" methodology - or not..

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Enjoy!

Project Management Humor: PM Cartoon "Project: Humor - Priorities"

Sat, 03 May 2008 00:11:52 GMT

Regular readers might have noticed that I recently started a project management and business cartoon series called "Project: Humor". The last one received a great response and here is the next one in the series:

Project: Humor - Priorities

View larger image: http://www.bitstrips.com/read.php?comic_id=41646&feed=a_10775

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Note: if you find yourself confused with this cartoon, you may not be a movie nut. Check out the American Film Institutes list of 100 movie quotes and you'll find all of the popular lines from the cartoon. I'm (obviously) a movie nut and sometimes find myself in a similar state as the cartoon when overwhelmed. The whole point of prioritization is to put the right focus on the right initiatives at the right time. When everything is top priority and no one is willing to give, you might find yourself in a state of "prioritization paralysis", ending up in your own state of nut-case-ness!

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Project: Humor - Water Me
All Project: Humor

Enjoy!

Project Management Cartoon from Project: Humor - Water Me

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:52:10 GMT

Earlier this month I created my very own comic strip named "Project: Humor". The first cartoon Triangle is here and the new one "Water Me" is below:

Project: Humor - Water Me

View larger image: http://www.bitstrips.com/read.php?comic_id=27483&feed=a_10775

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management Comic, PM Humor, Project Management Cartoon, Project Management

Project Management and Productivity Humor

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 17:33:41 GMT

I'm a fan of Savage Chickens, by Doug Savage. I would post a cartoon everday if they weren't often about non-work things like Zombies, Puppets and Pirates. Hmm, now that I think about it - those subjects could be work related.. Anyway, here are a few 'toons I've been saving that should get a chuckle out of the project managers and productivity fans in the house!

How to improve productivity on your project team:

Typical results from this strategy:

Typical Employee Response:

Typical response from management:

For bonus laughs, check out Prod3000's (the robot with the scary stick!) "Excellence in Management" series: Lesson 1 - Lesson 2 - Lesson 3 - Lesson 4 - Lesson 5 - Lesson 6 - Lesson 7 - Lesson 8

Click any image above to go to the original or go to http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/index.html to browse all the great topics covered by Savage Chickens, like Monsters, Pi, Freud, Work, Career and more!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Business Humor, Business Cartoons, Productivity

Project Management Humor: Fear of change

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:35:25 GMT

Here's a great image to print out for your next change management meeting:

Savage Chickens Link: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/12/nickels-and-dimes.html

I love the chickens!!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Change, Change Management

Project Management Humor: Verifying Requirements

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:45:17 GMT

Proof that you should always check the requirements before beginning project work:

Things that make you go hmmm.. (and want to apparently scratch your head)

This is related to my last amusing post "not my Job".

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, accountability, responsibility

(project) Management Humor: It's Not My Job!!

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:22:06 GMT

Eclectic Bill has a great, slightly grotesque, image that pretty much trumps anything you could write about those who follow the "it's not my job" mantra..

It's not my job!!

Perhaps it's more than "slightly" grotesque but you'll have to admit the image boldy sports the "a picture tells a thousand words" cliche! It reminds me of a post I did a while back on accountability. It had a little story about a road crew (ironically!) that is equally priceless:

While stuck in traffic, Hank, a manager of road crews, saw Nick digging holes and Claude following him to fill them up. Appalled, Hank asked Nick what he was doing. "What we’ve done for 10 years." Nick replied. "I dig holes and Claude fills ’em." "But that doesn’t make any sense," Hank said. "Well it did until last January when Phil retired. Phil used to put a tree in the hole before Claude filled it." "You’ve been doing this since January? Why didn’t you tell somebody?" Hank sputtered. "My gosh, Phil got a retirement letter from you, we figured you knew.
Read more here: http://ravenyoung.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!17376F4C11A91E0E!556.entry

Sad, funny and something that a lot of managers are dealing with on a daily basis. But hey, it's not my job to tell you that ;)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, accountability, responsibility

Management Humor: 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Managers

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:39:08 GMT

Slacker Manager guru Phil Gerbyshak has a humorous management post called 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Managers. Here are a few of my favorites:

Responsibility without Authority
Assign people a responsibility, tell them that they are responsible for the outcome, and then don’t give them anywhere even close to sufficient authority to make it happen. Perfect for those budding superstars who are threatening to take your job.

Set it and forget it!
I like to call this “Ron Popeil on management.” Delegation is for sissies, just throw out the task and let them guess on how you want it done. Especially effective if you never check in on their progress, and then demand it be “done right the first time.”

Great Expectations? How about NO Expectations?!?
Setting expectations is for sissies! Don’t tell your team what you expect of them, and then hold each of them to an imaginary, and completely random, standard, marking their review full of red ink. After all, if they don’t know what you want them to do, they can’t possibly do it!

Fight Fires, Don’t set priorities!Give someone on your team a project. Don’t tell them how important it is. Keep throwing more little balls at them until they drop the big one. Complain about how they have no idea what’s really important to you. Continue until they cry or quit, whichever comes first.

Do the same thing with projects you get. Focus on the urgent, forget the important, and keep fighting those fires!

Read the whole enchilada: http://www.slackermanager.com/2007/10/7-habits-of-highly-ineffective-managers.html

Ah yes, a great list of: A. What not to do as a manager or B. How not to lead or C. What type of manager to avoid. Phil ended the post with this question "What are some of your other best tips on how to be an ineffective manager?" and received many great resposes. Be sure to check out the comments section for some excellent answers, like this one from Eric Brown:

Fire…Ready…Aim.

In other words, don’t plan…just do it. Then worry about whether you are ready to do it and/or whether “it” was the right “it” to be doing.

And two more from commentor Byron:

Being Direct Takes the Fun out of Discussions

Any idiot can run through a list of tasks with their team, but it takes skill to bury that same task list within a long winded diatribe. The joy your team will experience by treating your lectures as information scavenger hunts will surely increase employee satisfaction and workplace morale.

Re-thinking the Work Day

Stop thinking that the work day is the time you get to spend time with your team members; it really represents the small window in the day that you are unable to call them at home. The true work / life balance comes from incorporating the job into all hours of the day. The key is frequency and timing, paying particular attention to calling during meal times and late in the evening.

Laugh till it hurts, cause the truth usually does - ouch!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Business Humor, Management Cartoon, Bad Management Styles

Chicken Process Improvement (CPI)

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 02:34:58 GMT

Another great cartoon from the excellent Savage Chickens site. This one is on Chicken Process Improvement:

link: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/10/process.html

Now, how many of your organizations already practice CPI -- crappy process improvement? Repeat after me: People over process! People over process! People over process! People over process! People Over Process! You down with P.O.P.? (Yeah you know me)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Business Humor, Management Cartoon, Process Improvement

PM Humor: Signs that your project might be off the rails

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 16:09:33 GMT

I came across a post by Daniel B Markham over at What To Fix that project managers might find humorous: Is Your Project Off-The-Rails? It's written from a developers perspecitve, but still contains amusements for PMs:

Signs that your project might be off the rails.
Your team has a prayer vigil on the release date
The requirements are being written from the code
You seem to remember having a house and kids somewhere
Your project plan includes your retirement party, and you're only 27
Your only design diagram consists of a picture of Halle Barry in a bikini
Nobody has seen the documentation guy since he went to that last user's meeting.
First you used a requirements system, then you used cards, then post-it notes. Now your requirements are written on napkins from the chinese restaurant
Your project manager's nickname is "shifty"
The original estimate was that it would take 3 weeks. This estimate was done when the project first started by one of Noah's sons
You think the three major food groups are candy bars, Jolt, and microwave popcorn
Your project plan was created by calling a psychic 900-number
You can only visit your users with bullet-proof glass and a prison telephone
They handcuff you to your desk
Your job application had a question asking how you feel about drive-by shootings
The Testing department is wearing body armor and is building a bunker in the cafeteria
Your last code review was attended by Hans Blix
You start secretly adding "help me" messages in your code comments
Your status reports must end in "so help me god"
You decide that instead of listing this job on your resume, you're going to put down that your were in prison for stealing from orphans
Your test plan includes renting a safe house and buying disguises
Your voice mail has an option for death threats

read more here: http://www.whattofix.com/blog/archives/2006/06/is_your_project.php

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management

(project) Management Humor: New Management Fad

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:16:36 GMT

Management and the JDYFJ method:

Original image found here.

Has anyone patented the "Just Do Your Fricking Job" management method? I checked and the domain www.JustDoYourFrickingJob.com is available so if you're quick, you can beat everyone else to the punch! Also available: www.JustDoYourFreakingJob.com, www.JustDoYourFlippingJob.com and even www.justdoyourjob.com. Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Business Humor, Management Cartoon

(project) Management Humor: deciphering the job description

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:58:48 GMT

As a project manager you will likely see many of these phrases sprinkled throughout a PM job description. Now you have a tool to translate all the management speak and determine what the hiring company is really looking for:

TRANSLATING THE WANT-AD
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"	We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"	We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
"NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER"	Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
"IMMEDIATE OPENING"	The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
"SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER"	We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
"SELF-MOTIVATED"	Management won't answer questions.
"WE OFFER GREAT BENEFITS"	After 90 days, you can join our HMO, which has a $500 deductible and a $25 co-pay.
"PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS"	After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own 401(k) and, if you behave, we'll give you a 5 percent matching contribution.
"SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE"	....who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"	We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT"	We have a lot of turnover.
"EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT"	Guys in gray suits will bore you with tales of squash and their weekends on yachts.
"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM"	We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
"FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT"	Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them.
"A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT"	We booze it up at company parties.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"	You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED"	If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"	Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"SALARY RANGE $24k-$32k"	We'll offer you $22k to start.
"A HIGHLY VISIBLE POSITION"	You'll give boring speeches on your own time.
"FLEXIBLE HOURS"	Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"	Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"WHERE EMPLOYEES FEEL VALUED"	Those who missed the last round of layoffs, that is.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"	We have no quality control.
"COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED"	Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion.
"CAREER-MINDED"	Female applicants must must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"	If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"	We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"	You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"	You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"	You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"	Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
"ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD"	You whine, you're fired.
"ASPIRATIONS FOR GROWTH WITHIN OUR COMPANY"	We loooooove brown-nosers.

NOTE: if you can't read the entire table - go here: http://ravenyoung.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!17376F4C11A91E0E!3743.entry

Obviously this was not specificaly directed at project managers but most lines are quite humorously appliccable. I do not know who the original author is but I found the above content here: http://www.cbu.edu/~kprien/wantad.htm

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Business Humor

Project Management Humor: Problem Solving Flow Chart

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 02:24:32 GMT

I had to laugh at this photo of a humorous Problem Solving Flow Chart. It's rated (M) for mature due to, uhm, a few bad words. As a PM I've worked with flow charts, mapped numerous processes and used Visio until my eyes bled, so this post made me laugh out loud. Though, admittedly, it's not quite PC for the workplace..

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor

Project Management Humor: A PM's Life In 8 Easy Steps

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:20:47 GMT

Savage Chicken is quickly becoming one of my favorite cartoons. This next one wasn't necessarily directed at project managers but it sure could have been!

A Project Managers Life In Eight Easy Steps

LINK: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/08/eight-steps.html

As a witty comment from the page noted - If you telecommute you can cut out steps 3 and 5 and trim your life down to 6 easy steps. Oh, and who has time for TV anymore? Perhaps we could substitute step 6 with a laptop to check email and do other work before bed ;)

Savage Chicken's got life pegged!!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Project Management, Life Humor

Project Management Humor: Resource Management

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 21:50:13 GMT

Project Managers: At some point management might have talked to you about "cracking the whip" - keeping your team on track and focused on the critical path. Although I've never liked this phrase, since it makes me sound like a sadist, or worse Indiana Jones(ette), I had to crack up when I saw this cartoon from Savage Chickens:

Link: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/07/back-to-work.html

Awesome!!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Project Management, , Resource Management

Project Management Humor: Helping the CEO is a good thing, right...?

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 03:42:28 GMT

I came across an amusing little nugget and wanted to share:

A young project manager was leaving the office one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. The PM was new to the company and wanted to make a good impression with the senior exec so he approached him.

"Listen", said the CEO, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly", said the young man, flattered that the CEO had asked him for help. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

"Excellent! Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

"I need two copies of that."

Doh! While amusing, this bit of pm humor can also serve as a reminder to make sure you get task requirements right and don't assume what the stakeholder wants out of a project ;)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Project Management

Conflict Management Humor: The 10 Best Ways to Win an Argument

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 21:10:55 GMT

I was reading a post titled Difficult Conversations: It’s Easy to Misunderstand, So Curb Your Outrage a Moment where the author, Dr. Tammy Lenski, mentions her "tongue & cheek" post titled The 10 Best Ways to Win an Argument. I mention the first post because apparently several folks misunderstood the sarcastic humor of the piece and Dr. T was clearing that up. Anyway, here is an amusing look at some things you really shouldn't try (but a lot of people do) to "win" an argument:

1. Call them names. Particularly those that start with A, B, C and F. This approach gives you a sense of moral superiority and will help guarantee that they start acting badly in their outrage.
2. Point out their deficits. Maybe it’s their lack of intelligence, always a winning choice. Or their unattractiveness. Or whatever deficit you just know will most aggravate or hurt them. After all, this is a person you say you love. Isn’t all fair in love and war?
3. Blame them for the argument. They started it, after all, by doing X, Y or Z. Or by being born. Things like this are never your fault. You are simply an innocent victim of their problem and it’s important that they know that. Again.
4. Gloat. Whenever you score a point with your winning tactics, be sure to point it out to them and demonstrate your glee. Your goal here is to continue making yourself feel superior and make them feel as awful as possible.
5. Scream, yell, weep loudly, or go deadly silent. Whatever way you show anger, just be sure to do it thoroughly and with great drama. What better way to get their attention, scare them, or steal the show. The more histrionics, the better.
6. Use terms like always and never. You’re always trying to control me. You never help with the workload around here. This tactic’s a good one because it guarantees the argument will get sidetracked into new, unpleasant territory as the other person tries to defend themselves against those all or nothing terms.
7. Remind them you’re right, they’re wrong. And not just 50%, but the whole darn 100%. Since you already did #2 above, it’s clear that their failures and character flaws have made them wrong yet again. You, of course, are always right, particularly when you’re angry.
8. Refuse to apologize. Tell yourself, they were awful too, so they should have to reach out to you first. Tell yourself that again. The more you tell yourself this story, the more justified you will feel in refusing to admit you contributed to the mess.
9. Repeat any of the above during the next argument. Go ahead, make an unhealthy pattern of it. Practice how not to do it so that it becomes such an ingrained behavior that one day you wake up and think, how did we get here?
10. Between arguments, make up, but only on the surface. Don’t really invest in the kind of conversation that will cause less debris in the relationship. Don’t really talk things out and get to the heart of the matter for you both. After all, you want to be ready to win again in the next argument.
Read more here: http://lenski.com/index.php/2006/08/the-10-best-ways-to-win-an-argument/

Actually, if you think about it, this is a great list of what not to do to succeed when managing conflict, negotiating, etc. If you work with someone who's guilty of a few of these, perhaps an anonymous printed copy with some highlighting left on their keyboard could get the point across? Ok, the highlighter will probably irk them - how about just posting it on your door and then referring to the numbers when someone on your team is trying to "win" with the above tactics? Better yet, keep the list going because you know we can at least get it up to 20 ways to beat someone into submission verbally - I mean, 20 ways to win an argument ;)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Conflict Management, Arguments, Management Humor

Project Management Humor: Dilbert on the reality/horror of meetings

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 04:59:52 GMT

There's a great Dilbert strip up at Dilbert.com. I found this piece particularly amusing because it seems to be something PMs face quite regularly in reality. Click Here for the full version of this post.

Direct Link to this Dilbert strip is: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert200611195192.jpg

That comic kind of reminds me of an image from one of excellent blogger Kathy Sierra's posts Be Provocative:

Direct link to post and image: http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2006/09/be_provocative.html

In the case of the above image Kathy was talking about website users and being provocative to keep their attention online. But I find the image fascinating from the perspective of one who frequently runs and facilitates meetings - THAT'S where everyone's attention is when I'm updating status or discussing design changes! I've been in too many meetings with those Dilbert-esque qualities and I am sure I've been guilty of my own "wheel of distraction", but kathy's is a great visual for what probably IS on people's minds while you're trying to make critical project decisions. We all complain about meetings being useless, wastes of time, unproductive, boring - whatever, but we each are guilty of our own distractions. Think about that the next time you're rolling your eyes in a meeting or texting during someone's presentation. That is exactly how key points are missed, how information is misunderstood and how project delays occur. Now, just for fun, try creating your own wheel of distraction and see what tempts you to not be mentally present in meetings. I'm just curious to see how many just change the name in the 8% pie ;)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management, PM Humor, Project Humor, Management Humor

Project Management Humor: Other options for "beating the dead horse"

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 01:03:37 GMT

Ah, this is funny and painfully true. Why don't we just dismount??

Project Management and a Dead Horse: Real-Life Reflections On Business Strategy

During your life as a project manager, you probably learned that when you discover your company is riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount as quickly as possible. However, in real-life business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Saying things like "This is the way we always have ridden this horse."
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring that "This horse is not dead."
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that "No horse is too dead to beat."
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare the horse is "better, faster and cheaper" dead.
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

I found this gem here: http://www.abcformbas.com/b.html, thought I've seen it on other sites as well. I do not know the original author, if anybody knows I'd love to give proper credit. Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management, PM Humor, Project Humor, Management Humor

Project Management Humor: Thoughts on Priorities from Dilbert

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 02:52:08 GMT

Project Management humor on the wonderful subject of "priorities", courtesy of Scott Adams and Dilbert:

These are just two of many amusing Project Management and Technology cartoons I found it at this page of Humor in Systems Analysis. Though I should mention that the best source for Dilbert cartoons is the official site: http://www.dilbert.com/. I was also interested to find that Dilbert creator Scott Adams maintains a blog: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/. It's amusing, opinionated and fun reading. Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management, PM Humor, Project Humor, Management Humor

Project Management Humor: Getting the requirements right!

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:48:46 GMT

They say a picture can tell one thousand words. Well, this picture has words but it's the images that really tell the story. Anyone in software/web development, IT/IS or, really, anyone that has ever worked on a "project" will quickly chuckle at the relevance. It's quite humorous and one to consider printing/posting. For a larger image click here: http://ravenyoung.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!17376F4C11A91E0E!1574.entry

I do not know where the image originated from to give proper credit but I found it at this page of Humor in Systems Analysis (which also contains loads of other fun PM/IT cartoons). I've seen this image before, I believe it's been kicking around on the Internet for awhile. I wanted to post it to remind myself and others working on projects how critical it is to get solid requirements defined and agreed upon upfront - before any work is started. If you don't take the time to plan - just look at what you might end up with! Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management, PM Humor, Project Humor, Requirements, Management Humor

PM / Management Humor & Reality: 3 Management Lessons

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 18:51:45 GMT

You might have seen this before, I know I had, but after a few more years of management under my belt I found the lessons even more amusing. I do not know who the original author of the lessons/course is, but I found the 3 Minute Management Course (rated M for mature) posted by A.J here: http://valuemanagementpartners.com/archives/000457.html. If you happen to know the origin of these three lessons I'd be happy to give proper credit. Now, on to your course:

3 Minute Management Course (rated M for mature)
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson #1
- To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
____________________________________
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson #2
- Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
_____________________________________
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson #3
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends your three-minute management course!

Now, I'm not personally recommending that anyone go out and eat dung for a boost up the corporate ladder. I am recommending that you remember the management lessons because even though they are humorous, they also ring quite true.. Well, except for #3-(3) - keeping your mouth shut when drowning in doodoo - it's probably better to reach out for help than sit quietly and drown everyone around you, but that wouldn't make the lesson nearly as funny, eh? Hope you at least got a chuckle - Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Project Management, PM Humor, Project Humor, Management Humor

Project Management Humor: The Ten Commandments For Conducting Meetings

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 01:35:24 GMT

Amusing post called The Ten Commandments For Conducting Meetings from The Leaders Institute. It's a great one to print, post and even follow!

Thou shalt not meet if the matter can be resolved by other means
Thou shalt make purpose known to those thou summonest
Thou shalt summon only those whose presence is needful
Thou shalt start at the time announced
Thou shalt not run beyond
Thou shalt not wander to other topics
Prepare thy thoughts that the minutes not be wasted
Schedule not in haste for the day is brief
Thou shouldst combine into one those which need not be separated
Fear not to cancel if the need disappears

Direct Link: http://www.leadersinstitute.com/resource/meetingtips.html

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor

Tags: Project Management Humor, Time Management, Meeting Management, Project Humor, Project Management, PM Humor