The next project management cartoon in the "Project: Humor" series is below: 

Project: Humor - Time

 
Click for larger image

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Previous cartoons in the series:

• Project: Humor - Credit
• Project: Humor - Respect
• Project: Humor - Priorities
• Project: Humor - Triangle
• Project: Humor - Water Me

Enjoy!

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posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor,  Project Management Comic, PM Humor, Project Management Cartoon, Project Management, Project: Humor

My new project management cartoon series called "Project: Humor" is still getting a great response. It seems a lot of PMs are looking for some levity because the number of queries for PM cartoons and/or humor are growing each day.  The next cartoon in the series is below: 

Project: Humor - Credit

 
Click for larger image

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Well, one flicker on the bright side, at least the manager is being honest about this often deflating behavior from bad managers, instead of stealing credit on the sly..

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Previous cartoons in the series:

• Project: Humor - Respect
• Project: Humor - Priorities
• Project: Humor - Triangle
• Project: Humor - Water Me

Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor,  Project Management Comic, PM Humor, Project Management Cartoon, Project Management, Project: Humor, Business Humor, Management Humor

I've written about my love of Dan Savage's Savage Chickens before. Once again I share a great cartoon applicable to the PM world, and business in general

Leadership

Click image for original

Do you know any project leaders using the "do as I say, not as I do" method? Poor little chickens - run!

Worse - are you an offending project manager, executive, upper manager, etc.? Put that stick w/rusty nail down and go get your DOing on!

More from Savage Chickens here: http://www.savagechickens.com/

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor,  Business Humor, Business Cartoons

Click for larger image

• Project: Humor - Priorities
• Project: Humor - Triangle
• Project: Humor - Water Me

• Project: Humor - Water Me
• All Project: Humor

Earlier this month I created my very own comic strip named "Project: Humor". The first cartoon Triangle is here and the new one "Water Me" is below:

Project: Humor - Water Me

View larger image: http://www.bitstrips.com/read.php?comic_id=27483&feed=a_10775

You may use this image on your site as long as you give proper credit and link back to this post.

Stay tuned for more project management humor from "Project: Humor" and Raven's Brain!

Enjoy!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor,  Project Management Comic, PM Humor, Project Management Cartoon, Project Management

I'm a fan of Savage Chickens, by Doug Savage. I would post a cartoon everday if they weren't often about non-work things like Zombies, Puppets and Pirates. Hmm, now that I think about it - those subjects could be work related.. Anyway, here are a few 'toons I've been saving that should get a chuckle out of the project managers and productivity fans in the house!

How to improve productivity on your project team:

Typical results from this strategy:

Typical Employee Response:

Typical response from management:

 
For bonus laughs, check out Prod3000's (the robot with the scary stick!) "Excellence in Management" series: Lesson 1 - Lesson 2 - Lesson 3 - Lesson 4 - Lesson 5 - Lesson 6 - Lesson 7 - Lesson 8

Click any image above to go to the original or go to http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/index.html to browse all the great topics covered by Savage Chickens, like Monsters, Pi, Freud, Work, Career and more!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor,  Business Humor, Business Cartoons, Productivity

Here's a great image to print out for your next change management meeting:

Savage Chickens Link: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/12/nickels-and-dimes.html

I love the chickens!!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Change, Change Management

Proof that you should always check the requirements before beginning project work:

Things that make you go hmmm.. (and want to apparently scratch your head)

This is related to my last amusing post "not my Job".

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, accountability, responsibility

Eclectic Bill has a great, slightly grotesque, image that pretty much trumps anything you could write about those who follow the "it's not my job" mantra..

It's not my job!!

Perhaps it's more than "slightly" grotesque but you'll have to admit the image boldy sports the "a picture tells a thousand words" cliche! It reminds me of a post I did a while back on accountability. It had a little story about a road crew (ironically!) that is equally priceless:

While stuck in traffic, Hank, a manager of road crews, saw Nick digging holes and Claude following him to fill them up. Appalled, Hank asked Nick what he was doing. "What we’ve done for 10 years." Nick replied. "I dig holes and Claude fills ’em." "But that doesn’t make any sense," Hank said. "Well it did until last January when Phil retired. Phil used to put a tree in the hole before Claude filled it." "You’ve been doing this since January? Why didn’t you tell somebody?" Hank sputtered. "My gosh, Phil got a retirement letter from you, we figured you knew.

Read more here: http://ravenyoung.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!17376F4C11A91E0E!556.entry

Sad, funny and something that a lot of managers are dealing with on a daily basis. But hey, it's not my job to tell you that ;)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, accountability, responsibility

Responsibility without Authority
Assign people a responsibility, tell them that they are responsible for the outcome, and then don’t give them anywhere even close to sufficient authority to make it happen. Perfect for those budding superstars who are threatening to take your job.

 

Set it and forget it!
I like to call this “Ron Popeil on management.” Delegation is for sissies, just throw out the task and let them guess on how you want it done. Especially effective if you never check in on their progress, and then demand it be “done right the first time.”

 

Great Expectations? How about NO Expectations?!?
Setting expectations is for sissies! Don’t tell your team what you expect of them, and then hold each of them to an imaginary, and completely random, standard, marking their review full of red ink. After all, if they don’t know what you want them to do, they can’t possibly do it!

 

Fight Fires, Don’t set priorities!Give someone on your team a project. Don’t tell them how important it is. Keep throwing more little balls at them until they drop the big one. Complain about how they have no idea what’s really important to you. Continue until they cry or quit, whichever comes first.

Do the same thing with projects you get. Focus on the urgent, forget the important, and keep fighting those fires!

 

Read the whole enchilada: http://www.slackermanager.com/2007/10/7-habits-of-highly-ineffective-managers.html

Fire…Ready…Aim.

In other words, don’t plan…just do it. Then worry about whether you are ready to do it and/or whether “it” was the right “it” to be doing.

Being Direct Takes the Fun out of Discussions

Any idiot can run through a list of tasks with their team, but it takes skill to bury that same task list within a long winded diatribe. The joy your team will experience by treating your lectures as information scavenger hunts will surely increase employee satisfaction and workplace morale.

 

Re-thinking the Work Day

Stop thinking that the work day is the time you get to spend time with your team members; it really represents the small window in the day that you are unable to call them at home. The true work / life balance comes from incorporating the job into all hours of the day. The key is frequency and timing, paying particular attention to calling during meal times and late in the evening.

Another great cartoon from the excellent Savage Chickens site. This one is on Chicken Process Improvement:

link: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/10/process.html

Now, how many of your organizations already practice CPI -- crappy process improvement? Repeat after me: People over process! People over process! People over process! People over process! People Over Process! You down with P.O.P.? (Yeah you know me)

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor,  Business Humor,  Management Cartoon,  Process Improvement

Signs that your project might be off the rails.

Your team has a prayer vigil on the release date

The requirements are being written from the code

You seem to remember having a house and kids somewhere

Your project plan includes your retirement party, and you're only 27

Your only design diagram consists of a picture of Halle Barry in a bikini

Nobody has seen the documentation guy since he went to that last user's meeting.

First you used a requirements system, then you used cards, then post-it notes. Now your requirements are written on napkins from the chinese restaurant

Your project manager's nickname is "shifty"

The original estimate was that it would take 3 weeks. This estimate was done when the project first started by one of Noah's sons

You think the three major food groups are candy bars, Jolt, and microwave popcorn

Your project plan was created by calling a psychic 900-number

You can only visit your users with bullet-proof glass and a prison telephone

They handcuff you to your desk

Your job application had a question asking how you feel about drive-by shootings

The Testing department is wearing body armor and is building a bunker in the cafeteria

Your last code review was attended by Hans Blix

You start secretly adding "help me" messages in your code comments

Your status reports must end in "so help me god"

You decide that instead of listing this job on your resume, you're going to put down that your were in prison for stealing from orphans

Your test plan includes renting a safe house and buying disguises

Your voice mail has an option for death threats

read more here: http://www.whattofix.com/blog/archives/2006/06/is_your_project.php

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor,  Project Management

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor,  Business Humor,  Management Cartoon

Savage Chicken is quickly becoming one of my favorite cartoons. This next one wasn't necessarily directed at project managers but it sure could have been!

A Project Managers Life In Eight Easy Steps

LINK: http://www.savagechickens.com/blog/2007/08/eight-steps.html

As a witty comment from the page noted - If you telecommute you can cut out steps 3 and 5 and trim your life down to 6 easy steps. Oh, and who has time for TV anymore? Perhaps we could substitute step 6 with a laptop to check email and do other work before bed ;) 

Savage Chicken's got life pegged!!

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Project Management,  Life Humor

 

posted by Raven at Raven's Brain under Project Management Humor
Tags: Project Management Humor, Management Humor, Project Management, , Resource Management

A young project manager was leaving the office one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. The PM was new to the company and wanted to make a good impression with the senior exec so he approached him.

 

"Listen", said the CEO, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?"

 

"Certainly", said the young man, flattered that the CEO had asked him for help.  He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

 

"Excellent! Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

 

"I need two copies of that."

1. Call them names. Particularly those that start with A, B, C and F. This approach gives you a sense of moral superiority and will help guarantee that they start acting badly in their outrage.

2. Point out their deficits. Maybe it’s their lack of intelligence, always a winning choice. Or their unattractiveness. Or whatever deficit you just know will most aggravate or hurt them. After all, this is a person you say you love. Isn’t all fair in love and war?

3. Blame them for the argument. They started it, after all, by doing X, Y or Z. Or by being born. Things like this are never your fault. You are simply an innocent victim of their problem and it’s important that they know that. Again.

4. Gloat. Whenever you score a point with your winning tactics, be sure to point it out to them and demonstrate your glee. Your goal here is to continue making yourself feel superior and make them feel as awful as possible.

5. Scream, yell, weep loudly, or go deadly silent. Whatever way you show anger, just be sure to do it thoroughly and with great drama. What better way to get their attention, scare them, or steal the show. The more histrionics, the better.

6. Use terms like always and never. You’re always trying to control me. You never help with the workload around here. This tactic’s a good one because it guarantees the argument will get sidetracked into new, unpleasant territory as the other person tries to defend themselves against those all or nothing terms.

7. Remind them you’re right, they’re wrong. And not just 50%, but the whole darn 100%. Since you already did #2 above, it’s clear that their failures and character flaws have made them wrong yet again. You, of course, are always right, particularly when you’re angry.

8. Refuse to apologize. Tell yourself, they were awful too, so they should have to reach out to you first. Tell yourself that again. The more you tell yourself this story, the more justified you will feel in refusing to admit you contributed to the mess.

9. Repeat any of the above during the next argument. Go ahead, make an unhealthy pattern of it. Practice how not to do it so that it becomes such an ingrained behavior that one day you wake up and think, how did we get here?

10. Between arguments, make up, but only on the surface. Don’t really invest in the kind of conversation that will cause less debris in the relationship. Don’t really talk things out and get to the heart of the matter for you both. After all, you want to be ready to win again in the next argument.

Read more here: http://lenski.com/index.php/2006/08/the-10-best-ways-to-win-an-argument/

Actually, if you think about it, this is a great list of what not to do to succeed when managing conflict, negotiating, etc. If you work with someone who's guilty of a few of these, perhaps an anonymous printed copy with some highlighting left on their keyboard could get the point across? Ok, the highlighter will probably irk them - how about just posting it on your door and then referring to the numbers when someone on your team is trying to "win" with the above tactics? Better yet, keep the list going because you know we can at least get it up to 20 ways to beat someone into submission verbally - I mean, 20 ways to win an argument ;)